This is the initial screening.

"I think I dreamed you again last night."

^^^^Not related to my blogging today, just a thought in my head earlier.

I got into a bit or an argument today with my best friend over the Iraq 'war.' Which surprised me slightly, since generally speaking we have the same sorts of political thoughts. What ho! No! Come to find out, maybe not so much. We're both socially liberal, but I tend to forget that he's liberal all over the place, and I'm not. I remember looking at a Facebook poll, seeing that the majority [60 something percent when I voted, anyway] claimed to be 'socially liberal and fiscally conservative.' And it made me really question if people knew what they were saying when they declared a stance on those little politicky polls. And I imagine they don't, not really. Some people, who say they are definitely Republican, find out [through careful questioning by people who actually know what they are talking about] that they are more liberal than they think- but their Daddy's a Republican, so they must be too. Damn tenses. They and he and she.

My mind isn't an English mind anymore, or I'm afraid it isn't, anyway. I'm stuck on 'Cornelia et Flavia in agris currunt...and they own slaves.' and 'oye, guero!' Of course neither of those are related, sensical [which isn't a word, although somehow nonsensical is, which makes me angry] or necessarily politically correct, which is quite important nowadays.

such a beautiful blog, and now it's all been laid to waste.
Two years ago, this never would have happened. There would have been random commentary on any and everything, snide remarks from all of my other blogging friends, et cetera et cetera. And now! Nothing! And it's all my fault, really. I think I must not have anything interesting to say anymore. Also, I suppose I picked a blogging site that no one else uses. No one I know. And I even did that very purposefully. So now I have nothing but a blog-empty hole, a vast chasm of nothing where even more internet-Nothing should be. Which is not the same. Internet-Nothing is a simply acceptable of shit that profligates and infiltrates the deepest inner sanctum of the Internet, which is to say, everywhere.

If only there was an inner sanctum of the Internet. Mm. Or maybe that's the porn sites, I don't know. I wouldn't know. Nothing is sacred here, on the 'web. Nothing. Not the snapshots of your Grandma at the reunion or the recording of your nephew singing Row Your Boat. It all becomes tainted the moment it hits the server.

I wonder who is screaming. If it is someone downstairs or someone on the overly loud television downstairs. Same matter, really. Clearly, as I just exhibited to myself by my disinterest, I don't actually care. It just seems so... matching? Like the timbre and the pitch match what I've heard before. But it's passed, and I understood a few words, and it was probably just a commercial for a hit movie that ended up on television way too soon because it wasn't really a hit. I hate that. When all the hype builds and builds and then it's on TBS a month later. That really blows for the movie industry. But I suppose you can't have it all the time. Or nothing would be good.

I was prowling imdb today, and found some interesting things, more or less, and some intriguing things, and some things that I hope do not prove to be disappointing. Wanted, for instance. Simply for the top 3 actors listed, caught my attention. The Dark Knight, for obvious reasons, Batman being my childhood hero and all. Prince Caspian, because who doesn't love Lewis, Christian or no? He's brilliant. There was something else but I forget. It involved the Devil... pre-production... sounded like the story line might be fairly decent. I'll have to go on a scavenger hunt soon, I suppose, to find it again.

Oh goodness, look at that. I've written a lot of internet-Nothing again.
Glory by, what a day this is.

that I was so incredibly behind. Ah well.
I only do this to feel like I do something...
useful?
No. I don't even know why. Accomplishment.
Although it hardly even qualifies.
This is what modern life has come to.
Measuring worth by posts.
Ha. A pun.
The lowest form of wit- or is that AFV?
It doesn't even touch wit- strike that.
Strike the box.

Where am I even going these days? One that's 15 from here, one that's 3. Actually. 2 for 3. Strike that. One here, one there, etcetera etcetera for ever and ever WHY.
I mean Jesus F. Christ! Only one for certain, and even that I take for granted. My whole life, all of it. Taken for granted or just simply taken. Given, really.
But not willingly, or unwillingly. Just there. Used. Worn out. But still so new! So young! So timidly bold and frightened of happenings out in the Deep Wood, Mr. Bunnsy oh Christ preserve Rupert!
And here I ramble.

My blog sucks; it's boring as Hell. It reeks of the continental U.S. and of regional disqualification.
I finally bought Nietzsche. Overdue, yes, and not as much as I would have liked [had to bring back something] but still what I needed. Validation of my thoughts. Not the crazy, trippy movie reel bit, but the rest of it. I love the looks I get from people who try to appraise the situation, and end up being totally off base, and therefore even more base than necessary...cashiers, good ones, are like that. Actually they aren't. Good ones are the ones who get it right, or keep their mouth shut, or realize that it really doesn't matter what they think, because the customer is always right and a sale is a sale, even if it is 'The Antichrist'. They bad ones are good because they keep me laughing.
Do I really just have that little regard for people I don't know [and even the ones I do]? Yes. At least that's what the script says.

Sometimes I wake up from the things I've been doing and wonder if I've really been parcel to it all. And when I do actually fade into sleep, and actually wake, it seems even further off than ever... Why would an old woman be walking alone through a parking lot at four in the morning? Where was she going? She didn't have anything with her but a purse. Why was she awake? My interest in her is only coincidental. But it bothers me that she seems to be the most real event from that hour.

Have you ever won anything at a carnival, arcade or midway game?

I don't normally hold much stock in the qotd here, but this one struck my fancy.

One of my most treasured possessions from my earliest childhood is a bear. It has deep, dark purple fur. Yellow and black striped stomach, paws and ears, like a bumblebee. Dapa.
There used to be a place called Magic Mountain. I only remember a little bit about it. They tore it down before I was even school aged. I know there was a haunted castle, and a huge black spin-y thing that looked like a giant mechanized spider. It probably was.
There was a frog flipping game. I think you had to try to shoot them onto the lily pads. God, I was so little. I mean, smaller you know, than now. And I was trying so hard. But I couldn't do it properly. I was just too short. I was sitting on my knees on those stools they have in front of the games. So my dad reached over and did it for me. Won a prize. Let me pick out the little purple bear. Dapa.

...have anything to do with anything. I just felt like I should be writing something.
Midnight picture makes me happy. Mmm.

I finished Out, Natsuo Kirino's Grand Prix winner. Mmm, amazing. It was so. So. Good. I was worried, a bit, because I initially picked it up because I needed a third book off of the buy 2 get a third free at the mystery table, but I knew better as soon as that reasoning came into my head. I mean. Seriously. If a Japanese woman wrote it, it got published, and it won awards... there should be no doubt. My first impression [and my last] was nothing like the book jacket. It was much my dirty, more gritty than I anticipated. It made it that much better. To those who aren't squeamish, a prude, or just really, ridiculously naive, read it.

I feel like I should go back and underline the title Out. Nah, I've settled that business now. Not many things do I feel obligated to back back and make certain it is all sorted out the way it should be. But with worthy books, I always make sure that I'm not misquoting, misspelling, or under-appreciating anything. I feel cheap if I don't. Like a used car salesman, who, when finally given the chance to sell anything other than a lemon, feels literally compelled to make certain everyone knows that they are now dealing with a bona fide car, man. A car.

Mr Lucifer Box.
I picked it up today, and finished it all in practically one sitting. That only comes when I really like something, or when I have time to spare.
I wish I knew Lucifer Box. I would be Bella Pok, minus the mis attempt at killing him bit. *wink*

But it made me start considering human sexuality again. What makes someone like Lucifer Box appealing, and not revolting? To me, I mean. Many people [or at the very least the ones HERE] would shudder at the thought of being attracted to a man that is, in addition to being attracted to women, attracted to men. I said people, I really meant women. Does it come from some sort of stigma attached to the homosexual male? Cannot a bisexual be just as enticing as a heterosexual, to everyone? Or maybe it is the image of a homosexual man as 'bespoiled' that makes a bisexual so unappealing to many women. I've wondered about this for a long time.
Clearly, homosexuality is not some 'new thing' people have come up with for attention these days. It has been around since people have been around [and how... they get around -wry laugh-]. So what makes it so taboo now? What makes it 'gross' to women, to think of being with a bisexual man? [I am speaking this way, being a woman myself, but it could apply with the genders switched, obviously.]

I, for one, would definitely bang Lucifer Box. And Charlie Jackpot. If they were in fact not characters in a book.
Is that so wrong?

[that's a rhetorical question- don't answer that. =P]

I finished that massive Russian masterpiece about nothing. The one that was apparently so commonplace at the time, you know, that one?

You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?

On to Lucifer Box!

...which is actually fairly accurate, come to think of it. I was just making fun of Newton.

I went to the doctor's office today, and left before I had even left the waiting room. I also had the equivalent of a whole head of raw garlic. I figured, I'm already sick, vampires would be just one more thing.

Just one more thing. Like that actor's part... The hair was just one more thing.

I should be asleep right now. I feel sick. I am sick. Ugh.

I really wanted to make cookies. Since we now have... oh... 4 lbs of cookie dough in our oven. So maybe I will get up at 5 in the morning and take all the shit out of the stove, and turn it on, and make cookies. That would be good.

Heath. Heathcliff. with an E. Cookie, with an E. Elope. Antelope. Ants elope. Aunts elope. I am an aunt. Cookies.